that's it for my day ...

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it's 12.45am ... that's it ... my day has past 45 mins ago ...
still no wishes from him ... HE FORGETS!!!! ::((

lepas maghrib tadi i went to jurong pt ... gi bayar courts nya Ady ...
grab myself strawberry punch ... yikes ... berhampas ... not as nice as strawberry lime ...
grab 198 to jurong east ... go collect ady's ngage and sent in the 2x 6230 that nokia can't service ...

i got played out ... awi really sent in a letter asking for his hutang ... cc to my dad ...
u could imagine wat my parents felt ...
my mum nagging as usual ... even now while i'm typing away ...
said those things like having a degree but end up with hutang keliling pinggang ...

while i was out just now ... i felt like killing myself ... putting myself to sleep and never wakes up ... jumping off a bldg or even into the water ... get myself drown ...
turning 30 is no fun!!!
i had my fair share of tears ... mum called me when i'm in the bus gg to jurong east ...
wishing me happy birthday ... said she forgot ...
but a consolation ... she cooked my fav dish ... lauk hati ... it's just a coincidence but a consolation i take it ...
then minutes later got an mms from my eldest sis, kak yu ... and wishes from my BIL

i took a long walk ... went to clementi sunset ...
buy myself mr softee chendol ... stop a while at the bridge ... contemplating if i shld jump ...
no guts of course ... and went back home ...

upon reaching hm ... bro said he forgets and wish me happy birthday ...
bought a birthday cake for me ...
my niece, dinah and nephew rydel ... sang me a birthday song ... blow the candle along w/ me ... and we had a piece of cake each ...

the day ends with watching america's sweetheart ... starring julia roberts and john cusack ...


ady still couldn't decide if he shld run for the marathon ... if not pun he has a wedding to attend ... said he decide by tonite ...
bet even if he decide ... he will not tell me till tmrw when i call ...

life sucks doesn't it ... for my birthday wish this year ... i really really wish God takes my life away ... and i never woke up to see tmrw ...
i've debts ... too much debts to pay off ... way too much ...

best of all ... my bf whom i love dearly ... simply forgets that ytdy is my birthday ...
if he remembers ... the least i expect is a sms wish ...
he remembers yun's bd and in my presence he sent the sms wishing her happy bd ...
but me?? nope ... none at all ...
so what does it means??
yup ... who am i?? not as important ... as the rest of the women in his life that he loves, wants to be with ... i am just a mistake ... just a mistake that he agrees to start smsing, calling, talking, meeting ... just a gigantic mistake ... i'm pretty sure about that ...

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