i miss him ...

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i miss him so muchhh that it aches ...

maybe i'm wrong about him ... maybe those are just my *paranoid thoughts ...
i pray that it's just my *paranoid thoughts ... i hope it's just my *paranoid thoughts ...

maybe he does love me afterall ... maybe he does care afterall ...
maybe ... just maybe ...
love just has it's way of showing ... we just need to see with our hearts and not with our naked eyes ...


*Paranoid means exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear and suspicion ... definitely not distrust ... no! no! no! no! 

Comments

  1. Dada Meowster19 July 2005 at 00:52

    God .. You're hurting badly .. Though u tried to put on a brave front .. I wished there's something that i can do to take the pain away ..

    ReplyDelete
  2. JusMoi -19 July 2005 at 01:05

    ni yang di katakan ... senyum dalam tangisan ... i wish i could do something to take my pain away ... probably the end of me is the end of everything ... can't help having the negativity thought ... guess it's better than being positive and yet got hurt ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. XXXX YYYY19 July 2005 at 18:08

    hey lovely stranger, be strong. in life, not one will escape from being stuck. everybody will and girl, you just got to believe that everything will be fine and dandy.

    sometimes having bad thoughts are good but too much of them might hurt u dear. I just hope that everything will be fine for you and your love one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JusMoi -19 July 2005 at 23:29

    thanks dear ... just that sometimes the strength and patience i have has reach it's limit ... hence the ugly thoughts of ending one's life just takes over ... but insyaAllah ... i never stop hoping that all goes well ...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Zalinah Seman20 July 2005 at 02:15

    when i read these thoughts of yours...i can feel the hurt. eventhough we hardly meet nowadys or shall i say..now a year(s)...i juz wan let u know that i am always around. guess u know that too rite?

    u take care...i will pray for u'r well being and happiness always. Insya-Allah :)

    wateva it is God lurves u more...and may those cloudy cloudys shoo away ASAP...take Ti.

    ReplyDelete
  6. JusMoi -21 July 2005 at 04:05

    thanks Na ... u guys are never far away from me ... NEVER!! circumstances just makes us not convenient to always be next to each other as often as we use to like in those younger days (where the young ones has yet to exist) ...

    fact is i'm truly hurt ... and trust me this time it hurts even more ... like a healed wound re-opens itself ...

    and i'm not going to lie nor hide ... multiply jus giv me a channel to pour my hearts out ... in a way whether i'm alive or not ... u guys will know ... and this is just a way for me to share with all of you ...

    prob is i dun tell nor ask for the facts ... i just make those assumptions ... i know it's bad ... but i just dun hav the guts to face it ... or probably i dun have enough evidence to bring it forth ...

    now i know how one feels when they try to commit suicide ... slit their wrists ... took those sleeping pills ... some day i might resort to it ... i just hope i have the strength to resist it ... i just hope ...

    ReplyDelete
  7. XXXX YYYY22 July 2005 at 03:41

    banyak kan doa..hidup kita bukan sahaja dgn percintaan tapi juga rakan2 dan keluarga..

    don ever think that way or go near it..bad thoughts are always there to grab the chances of us drowning with them..

    i don really know what's happening in ur life now but i pon pernah lalui perjalanan pahit didalam percintaan dan i lagi dah tunang selepas 5 tahun berkawan..tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan..ni semua qadak ngan qadar..percayalah.

    every exit is another entrance to somebody. dear, u take care k. time will tell and heal everything. be strong and i know u r one of them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. JusMoi -22 July 2005 at 08:47

    eh eh ... mcm same gitu eh ... my previous one ... kawan for 5 years ... got engaged less than a day, poof ... gone!!! ... and worst w/o my frens not even a single one next to me during that memorable day ...

    time does indeed heal but it scars bad ... tinking that the entrance to the next one is heaven but it sure is hell ... i'm more vulnerable ...

    nevertheless ... thanks again dear ... hearing from u builds a level of strength for me ... thank You!

    ReplyDelete
  9. XXXX YYYY26 July 2005 at 19:06

    don thank me...a friend in need, y not rite...hehehehehe...dear, i am just here to hold ur hand whenever i feel u need it even if u don ask for it..cause i know that it is impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside..

    ReplyDelete

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