JusMoi ... My lif3sT0ry ...

i'm done reading another Barbara Delinsky book ... Suddenly ... There's goes my Saturday ... wrote a letter that i'm gonna post out in my webbie ... for my dear eyes only ... i'm not gonna give the link here ... heheheh ... nothing mushy ... just pouring what's on my mind ... Ask him out for dinner ... but hmmmm ... he went out with his buddy instead ... went out w/ buddy ok ... but if out w/ her ... i will not forgive him for lying ... i'm having a bad tummy ache ... it started from thursday nite abt 3am ... wake him up but got ignore ... ya lah ... he's fast asleep i dun expect him to do anything ... maybe give me a hug ke ... heheheh my frens said gastric probably ... took like 8 panadol extra ytdy ... took 2 antacid ytdy ... took 4 antacid today ... the ache is still there but bearable ... the ever first time i'm in such pain ... mati tak nak ... aiyoh!!!

He says: "...if u tink there's an issue, then i'm telling u ... "it's just a gimmick" ..." Me says: "...but why do it??..." He says: "...tu ah..."  (mcm selambe gitu reply nya) He says: "...i told u it's only for a short term..." Me says: "...what's short term?... it's been 4 months now ... am i to wait and see what happens 4 years later??.." He says: "...it will not last ... it will not happen..." Me says: "...than what's tat abt d engagement?..." He laughs. He says: "...did u see anything happen?... told u it's a gimmick..." He says: "...what makes u want to check those sms?..." Me says: "...cos i'm curious..." He says: "...no! what makes u want to check? ... did u see me checking ur phone? ... why i didn't check them? ..." Me says: "...cos there's nothing for u to see..." He says: "...why didn't i chec...

i thought i dun need to shed those tears anymore ... but i'm wrong ... i shldn't hav done what i've done ... but if i dun't i wldn't know ... my reaction was pretty slow though ... but i guess the impact is just too great ... "...calm as the river i am ... but strong current underneath that kills..." soon after ... tears flows ... all hunger and tiredness not felt at all ... i bathe ... but didn't realise i'm done ... i checked my emails but i didn't know if i read anything ... nothing gets registered ... it's like being there but not there ... soul-less ... wat shld i do? what wld u do if u were me? what if you knew ur bf had girl-A? what if you knew, he got his fren to ask me where to get flowers and the flowers meant for his girl-B? what if you knew that he and girl-A had plans to get enaged? even had the engagement date and anniversary date noted in the calendar? what if u suspect that they slept together? how wld u felt i...

my sms to him this morning ... "... i can't bring myself to look u in ur eyes ... cos i dun want u to c d tears in mine ... u r my heartbeat n i can't imagine wat it's like if u slip away ..." Abstract from the song "Without You" sang by Kimberly Locke with Clay Aiken "... Without you, where do I belong? ... Without you, how can I go on? ... And no love but yours will ever do ... Tell me how am i supposed to live my life? ... Without you ..."

Rating: ★★★★★ Category: Music Genre: Other Artist: Kimberly Locke with Clay Aiken Never even thought to cry When I heard you say goodbye Never said where you were going And theres no laughter in the air Only silence everywhere And so much left unspoken Since you've been gone I haven't been the same I wish that I could see Who's to blame Without you, where do I belong? Without you, how can I go on? And no love but yours will ever do Tell me how am i supposed to live my life? Without you oooooo Was in lost in you and ne To the point I couldn't see That what we had was dying Now it's all that I can do To see photographs of you And stop myself from crying I should learn to live without your love Got so many memories But it's not enough Without you, where do i belong? Without you, how can i go on? And no love but yours will ever do Tell me how am I supposed to live my life Without you? I feel helpless and oh so alone Like...

i didn't ask for it ... i didn't tink about it ... the tears just trickles away ... naturally ...

Enjoy!! ...