How time flies indeed

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Wow ... look at that ... 
how time indeed flies. 

after 2015, no entry for 2016. 
then i'm back with just 1 posting for 2017. 
Then back again in 2018 with 1 posting only. 

in 2 days ... 12 Aug 2021 ...
it's been 5yrs nenek have left us. 


so much has happen then ....


2019

my marriage is at a verge of shattered.
but i guess i decide to glue it back and live with it again. 
was it all worth it?
looking back ... i believe Allah has better plans
not that i have much to think ... but i went with the flow. 

it started sometime early 2019 to Aug 2019. 
on a few occasions i hook up with old frens from GMPS. 


i had an offside company retreat mid of Aug. 
the space we had away from each other does us good ... for me at least. 
 

D's birthday celebration was an extra blow for him. 
We both put up a good front spending time with the family celebration the Jul-Aug birthdays. 

1 Nov 2019 was our 1st and last counselling session. 
we dealt with it well ... i need to leave but he is not ready to. 
days become weeks ... weeks turn to months ... 
Allah has it all plan. 

 

This #lilone came into our life unplanned. 
The center of our joy. 
We brought her home 21 Nov 2019. 
She filled our hearts, our time ... she has all our attention, our love especially. 





Since i am making a trip to Bandung 21-28 Dec 2019 without D purposely, i have to bring her along. 
Again our separation really do me good. 

with my added responsibilities and love for this #lilone just filled my days with smiles and cries

my 1st flight trip with my parents and elder sis.
my 1st flight trip with a baby in my arms. 



We are all smiles ... 
She came into our lives when she is 3+ months old
we went places; staycation in JB, went to sea aquarium, took the cable car ride

BUT ...  
















All that is just temporary.
though we had plans for her ... Allah has other plans for us and for her. 

She left us to return to her biological parents on 22 Nov 2020

Exactly a year after she came into our lives. 

Our hearts are shattered. 
Our plans take a hard stop. 

We felt empty. 
till now ... i still cried ...
and my heart aches when i see her things, her clothes, places we went together. 

She went home without a trace. 
all DISCONNECTED. 


 

 


on top of that ... 

i had a major turn in me ... 
had my womb removed (hysterectomy) at age 45, 10 Dec 2020
after suffering heavy menses since 2008 to 2015.
and was ok for a good 5 years
Then all came back again and this time i had to make a major decision to myself. 

this doesn't saddens me as much, as i am still "mourning" for the lost of almost-to-be-my-only-child

the tot of not ever giving birth to a my very own biological child, i kind of have accepted.
when i tot i might have an adopted child (whether in papers or in agreement) after all ... just shattered and something that i can't bring myself to wake up from that reality. 

 

 


@WORK ... 

Veeco move out of Techview on Nov 11 2020




And move into New Tech Park on 1 Apr 2021



i had a change of boss. 
Vincent no longer my boss. 
and i am now reporting to my US Boss ... Angela Verini
who is working closely with the BIG Boss Jeff Grosso; who is MJ's boss. 

1 Sep 2018, i had a change of title from
Service Admin to Service Analyst
a change in Grade means a change in pay range

ALHAMDULILAH


So what's in it for me this 2021?
It's Aug 2021 now.

With the covid coming in it's 2nd year.
Traveling is still uncertain. 
Friends come and go
Good friends seems to actually do not know you as much as you tot they will.
i am still an undischarged bankrupt. 
work has been ok

For now ... I am updating my home as we've lived here for a decade now. 
it deserve a change here and there. 

for myself ... i am working hard to lose my weight which is now at 101kg. 
damn!!!
but still refuse to work out ... sigh!!!
let's see how i do it ... if i can just go at 95kg ... back to before i had my ops ... 
i am sure i am in the right track ... 
pls pls pls ... 


other updates ...

Mr husband is not working as i type this. 
he has not been working for the past 2 months. 

BIL got caught and currently in DRC for 18mths. 

Adik move from Sengkang to Upper S'goon just next to his MIL sometime this year. 

Eldest sis is driving a merc car now. 

Afie and Rydel both have motorbikes
Syafi too. 


Got to go ... laundry is waiting. 
work is waiting. 
Redmart left my order at the door. 
husband still sleeping since 3+pm


Till next time ... hopefully soon enough. 
with aching heart missing my lil girl ... Ellya Malika

 
vid taken from her biological mother watsapp status

her last convo with d

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