parents?? to love or to hate?? ...

guess no matter how much u hate them ... u still love them even more ...
guess whatever it is that they want from u ... are just the best from u ...
guess when they say parents reprimand u ... it's for the best of u too? ...

sometimes u wish ur parents just know u ...
but i guess no one knows u better than urself ... sometimes u urself dun know urself ... then what? ...

u want to live life alone? ... dun tink it's possible ...
u want to be away from everybody? ... maybe it works ... but for how long? ... running away is not a solution ... just a workaround ...

parents?? ... i'm grateful i still have mine ... and i'm grateful to them for my existance ...
i can't thank them enough ... nothing can ... nothing will ...
what they did to me ... or they dun ... is something that i can't penned down ... can't list out ... nothing i've done so far has made them proud ... and hopefully nothing i've done to disgrace them ... i'm not the perfect daughter ... i will never be ... and i will not be ... i just be me ...


mum ... dad ... please except me who i am ... that's all i ask for ... that's all ...

Comments

  1. nobody is perfect dear...nobody...

    cheer up yah...

    ReplyDelete
  2. precisely dear ... precisely ...
    are we asking too much?? i dun tink so ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. we asking too much or is it we cant meet up our parents expectations?

    that question lingers in my mind sometimes but i choose not to harp on it...frens asked how the hell i managed not to keep thinking of that question..till now, i have no idea..maybe bekos i am stubborn and i can easily shut my ears off...or maybe because i trust myself and i know wat i want...

    u think about it...*smilez*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Wati,

    Good news for you. Some parents think that they are doing good for their children by being possessive or judgemental. If you think that you have done everything you could to meet your parents' expectation and yet they are still judging you, it sounds like you are looking at someone's elses insecurity and it may not be you at all.

    Find out if there could be a possibility that your parents may have conflicts which have not been resolved? I am not sure what is behind the conflicts but it sounds to me that some conflicts in the past have made them feel insecure about themselves. These unresolved conflicts could explain their actions toward you (eg posing high expectation on you) which somehow give them the sense of temporary security. However they fear that these expectations may not be met by you and this may angered them because they presume that you will provide them with this temporary security. Therefore, the fear of losing that sense of security and control of their lives may have led them to treat you unfairly and only by imposing great expectation on you, they feel that they are in control of their lives. If your parents refuse to accept their imperfection, you have to accept it.

    At the moment you are probably gasping for air. I suggest that you find a space to breathe and start to find a solution to your problem. In every problem there is always a solution. Just like your first step to solving your problem at work. You left that space to look for a better one. That may be only the first step to solution but you are doing great because you knew what you wanted from your previous job and not only that, you also acknowledged the company limitation, therefore you decided to look for solution and you've chose to give yourself a chance to revive. It was not your fault that you were not treated fairly by your previous employer. Similarly, you can also acknowledge that it is not your fault you are not perfect and so are your parents whom you described as highly demanding.

    As a note, you can learn from your parents' mistakes and not be their mistakes. In doing so you will be able to see your parents own insecurity and begins to accept they are after all human and ignorant. All of us make mistakes in life however some people are able to accept this but not others. Keeping this in mind, I hope that you will choose not to be the others, instead do choose to accept your own limitation and try to acknowledge your parents' mistakes then you will be on your way to revive and survive.

    Keep me posted about your well being Wati. I hope that you not drift away with pessimism. Problems not meant to be easy or else there won't be a problem. It is a challenge not a curse. So let's look into it yeh? Step by step.... one at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Amendment: "As a note, you can learn from MY parents' mistakes and not be their mistakes."

    I meant to say: "As a note, you can learn from YOUR parents' mistakes and not be their their mistakes."

    ReplyDelete
  6. maybe it's me who's insecure and not my parents ...
    thanks dil ... let me ponder what u've said ... thr's truth in it but again like i said maybe it's me and not them ...

    ReplyDelete

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