JusMoi ... My lif3sT0ry ...

pejam-pelik pejam-pelik ... dah setahun ... 1 year to be exact since the day we decide to be together ... rempuh segala onak duri rgdless ... ye lah ... at that time semua manis ... yang pahit pun di kata manis ... yang masin pun di kata manis ... but again ... how long can the sweetness remains ... honeymoon period is over ... c'est fini ... over and done with ... and reality sips in ... it's been 1 hell of a roller coaster ride ... i am patience as ever ... i do learn along the way ... knowing to react on certain occasions ... sad to say ... i've nothing to give on this special day ... nothing to celebrate / go on this special day ... just a plain sms wishes to him ... cos it may be important to me ... but i've no idea if it is to him (my assumption) he didn't reply to my sms ... so god knows what's he tinking ... these words are inspired by my online buddy, Rai ... thank you!! (me steal ur inspirations ... jgn marah) When you fall to the ground, u will be phy...

Why does it seems that your patience towards me seems so thin? Why does it seems that i always seems to piss you off? ... or you get piss easily?? Why does it seems more apparent nowadays? Maybe cos it's fasting month? Maybe cos you just lost patience for me? Maybe i screw up your life? Why does it seems that whatever i do just seems wrong? Why those crude, harsh words? Is it really necessary? Why does it seems that you are testing my loyalty, my patience? Why do you want to piss me off when you end up being pissed? hahaha ... Maybe you realise that this is all wrong? ... that we are wrong for each other? Maybe you've done reflecting ... and realise that this whole thing is just getting more complicated? ... your status said "it's complicated" ... rite?? Maybe i am not the one ... i just happen to get caught in the cobweb ... You choose to be with someone else other than me on your special day ... Does that bothers me? Maybe a little ... and it tells me that i a...

Birthdays are reminder of at what age are we at ... it's also a time to sit down and reflect ... what we wish for ... we don't usually get ... there are decisions we made we regret ... life ... it's not always what we dreamt to get ... but we live with it ... no matter what ... wishing you a great day today ... cos today is your day ... have no worries in the world ... cos today the world evolves around you ... just you ... I'm sorry i can't afford to give you that cheesecake ... (while some others have beat me to it) nor can i even afford to give you a greeting card ... just an sms wish ... and a verbal wish ... which i doubt makes your day ... but that's all i can afford today ... have a great day my dear ... may you live long and happy ... happy ...

he never fail to amuse me ... when my parents, bro, his sis and elder bro is out ... leaving me and him ... while the eldest bro is somewhere in the house dunno do wat ... my sis lak off to work ... there he is behind me so quiet ... that even i can hear the semut walking ... and guess what he's doing ... me nya giler ... i decide to 'doll' him up ... hehehehe ... he love every seconds of it ... heheheeh .... ps: pics taken from my sony ericsson k750i ...

dreadlock ni cantik ... but it also comes with leceh nya nak maintain ... dah lah buat nya ber-puluh2 ... makan ratus ... but who am i to complain ... skali color / highlight / perm / rebond / treatment my hair je dah ber-puluh2 kluar ... ratus pun ade ... anyway ... me ni nak tanya ... ade sesiapa dari kalian ... teman2 multiply hamba yang tahu di mane hamba leh cari org or salon untuk cuci kan dreadlock / treatment kan / as well as touch up skali ... bukan nya tak leh cuci rambut sendiri ... but it's not as easy ... dun get me wrong ... tis is not for me ... definitely not my hair ... but asking on behalf ... if anyone ade recommendation to anyone or salon ... ade harga nya skali lagi best ... PM me or reply me k ... TERIMA KASIH!!!! thank you!!!

recalling back 4-oct-2004 ... that's when i first receive your sms ... and the first i hear your voice ... i didn't fall for you then ... but i enjoy talking to you ... i look forward to receive your sms each morning ... then each day ... and now at least each week ... i didn't fall for you then ... nor do i fall for you on our first meet ... but i fell for you on our 2nd meet ... it's been 5 years i shut myself out ... and you're the one who manage to open the "door" ... cos i trust and believe you hold the key ... i let you in ... i took small baby steps as i go ... hurting every steps i took ... nonetheless there are moments that time just stop for us ... right from the start ... i know i am 2nd best ... i can never be her ... i can never replace her ... i dun intend to cos i do understand that, that's my lost ... she came before me ... and i can't change that ... all i want is for us to look forward ... to move on ... if you choose to look back...

why is it that no matter what i do ... it's always mcm wrong gitu ... maybe it is wrong ... but isn't there anyway to compromise and correct the wrong ... and see where we can improve ... maybe i'm just being stubborn ... or maybe i'm just trying to be perfect ... or maybe i'm just trying too hard ... maybe i'm just being selfish ... maybe i tot wat i did is the rite thing to do ... maybe i tot it's best to do that way ... maybe i tot if i don't it will be stray ... maybe ... maybe ... maybe ... arghhhhh!!! that's never an answer to all these rite?? no answer at all?? then wat?? what shld i do now?? maybe best i sleep and dun wake up? maybe best i go run far2 away? maybe best for me to be left alone? maybe i was meant to be alone? maybe i shld give more space? maybe i shld just let it be? maybe i shld not take it too hard? maybe that's how it is? maybe that's for the best? arghhh ... again no answer ... how like that?? it's so emotionally...

Friday 30.09.2005 he came to pick me up abt 1.30pm .. ya we took a cab ... we head to beach road, golden mile complex ... taking the konsortium bus @2.30pm. nak draw $$ ... the atm machine run out of cash ... no choice got to draw kat KL je ah ... since it's a direct bus from SIN - KL ... we only stop for toilet break ... 2 stops ... 1 right after the JB toll and the other after the KL toll ... we stop kat pudu ... reach there abt 8pm or so ... we then head to petaling street ... beli perfume (leh buat tido ... heheehe) jln2 sikit ... grab our dinner to go at mac, bought drinks kat 7-11, then head to our hotel, crowne mutiara plaza reaching there at 10.30pm. we resign to bed early after a good warm bath ... tomorrow's gonna be a long day ... Saturday 01.10.2005 we rise early ... woke up at 7.30am (mcm nak gi work gitu kan ...) ... after taking our bath ... we head down to have our breakfast ... abt 9am or so once we are done ... we went out heading to petaling street again ......