Dah takdir ...

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it hurts so much ... mcm kena hiris2 gitu hati ni ... when you know you're not appreciated.
maybe aku je yg membesarkan citer ... but tink abt it ...
u got home ... dia dah mandi ... which is unusual la ... dia tk kan mandi unless dia nk kluar ...
so i ask ... "d nk kluar?" and he said "lum tau ..."
sms coming in bertubi2 ... non stop. and i have to ask "d nk kluar ngan siapa?" ...
and he said "ngan rudy" ... and there i was pulling long face.
mane kan tidak .. tiap kali kluar ngan rudy ade je citer dia ... we will always end up quarelling.
mane washing machine buat hal.
ade satu kali tu msg masuk ... then when i ask "siape?" he said "starhub" but i heard him typing on his phone ... which means he is responding to someone ... tk kan respond to starhub kot?
when i was abt to cook ... then he said ... dia nk kluar.
menyirap jap darah ... and i end up putting back the beras ... clear up the kitchen and i went to shower ... mulut ngomel ...
and he was all ready to go out ... lincah kadut lu ...
and i was so mad ... mane kan tidak ... bila tanya said lum tau ... then tup tup tup nk kluar ... bila masa yg "rudy" respond pn tk tau lah ...
then he said ... "oh td kan d ckp d 2gu rudy abis keja ... once dia dah bis then d jumpa dia." hmmmm fishy kan story nya padahal dia tk ckp pn yg dia 2gu rudy abis work ... dia kata lum tau agi ... marahhhhh!!!!
he left close to 9pm.
it's close to 2am ... and he is not back yet. msg him dia tk reply. call him once tk angkat ... so i end up calling him over and over and over again till he answer the phone. and he picks up ... angry of course and said he is at jurong ... dah nk balik.
i waited again ... close to 4am ... and yet batang idung pn tk nampak ...
i called ... and he picks up ... said dia baring kat carpark ... but i heard the car reversing ... and when the car stops reversing the radio comes on ...
so how can he be baring in the car and yet he has yet to reverse/park the car?
yg dia pegi baring kat kete tu kenapa? nk buat aku agi marah?
tk masuk akal kan alasan ...
so i question ... i ask ... but nothing came out from him.
and when i ask if he will get worried if i didn't come home this late ... and dgn marah dan terpaksa he said "ye lah ye lah risau" ... and you know that instance he is not sincere.
i went into the room and sleep alone ... leaving him at the hall ... at his usual sleeping spot ...
it still hurts ... bottom line dia besarkan kawan dari his own wife ... sad but true ...
siapa la aku ... hanya HAMBA, BADUT, TUNGGUL yang diperbodohkan oleh suami sendiri ...
sometimes u wish life is a fairy tale ... when u can just be happy with someone who loves you unconditionally.
sabar je la wati ... life is always unfair ... :::::((

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