JusMoi ... My lif3sT0ry ...

heading to the neighbouring country tmrw ... gi kl je ... tak jau ... tu je yg termampu for now ... it's our (me and my bf) virgin trip ... yep ... it's the first time we are travelling together out of singapore ... for the first time ... nak kata excited ... mcm tak sangat ... just feel that it's a norm thing to travel with him ... is that good or bad? ... me pulak mcm rasa nak sakit ... u know that pain ... sore thing that u get in the nose when u feel like u gonna have the flu ... head slightly heavy but not too heavy that u want to go to sleep je ... badan mcm lemah longlai ... guess i'm just tired ... maybe a bit stress ... we deserve a break ... we deserve it after much strain and stress we had ... we need it ... i'm gonna have fun! be light hearted! go with the flow! enjoy his company for 3 days ... hehehehe that is for sure ... ta ta ... will be back before u knew it ... hahahaha

Have a good laugh hehehe ... quite funny though!!! Lee Sum Wan : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Mr Saw Lee : Yes, you can speak to me. Lee Sum Wan : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Mr Saw Lee : You are talking to someone! Who is this? Lee Sum Wan : I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Mr Saw Lee : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Mr Saw Lee : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Lee Sum Wan : You are so rude! Who are you? Mr Saw Lee : I'm Saw Lee. Lee Sum Wan : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name.

i'm emotionally exhausted ... emotionally stress ... emotionally strain ... i need a hug ... A little hug makes everyone feels good in every place and language it's always understood ... hugs don't need new equipment special batteries or parts just open your arms and open your hearts ... "Happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

Got this from a fren ... something to ponder ... Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. - Ne...

My heart aches just listening to the song ... aches more when i read the lyrics ... it's so me ... "Because Of You" By Kelly Clarkson I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, You fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of y...

dunno!!! ... is something wrong?? ... doesn't seem so. then why is he acting strange?? ... or is it just me feeling so ... just another of my paranoid self?? .... or is it a way of him saying ... i need space??? ... allo!!! i'm not one who is sticky ok ... wat space are u talking abt?? ... alrite fine if u want space ... doesn't he miss me?? ... well he never did as far as i know ... not that i know ... how to?? he never says them?? unless those times when he ask if i miss him ... which i guess it's another way to say i miss you too ... arghhhh!!! he doesn't care abt me?? ... well hard to say cos he's not one who is kepo to ask what u doing, whr u going, and that kind of sort ... well he knows that i'm ALWAYS at home ... arghhh ... let it be lah ... dah penat ahhh!!! i'm tired of playing this guessing game ... assumption lethal game ... let's go with the flow ... flow .... flow ... flow ...

"... kalau tak dia ... tak kita ..." what does it really means? direct translation to English ... "... if not them ... not us ..." Here's a scenario to relate ... there's a guy who has a fiancee and getting married soon ... but he also has a gf ... who he loves head over heels for ... [well the gf comes about when both their rel is on the rocks ... and the fiancee confess she has a bf ... but above all ... the wedding will still takes place ...] what happen here? ... when we (a 3rd party onlooker) analyse their situation ... that's when we said ... "... kalau tak dia ... tak kita ..." which means?? if not them .. it can be us?? hmmm ... life is complicated as it is ... why complicates further when such things can be avoided at all cost ... human! man! woman! people!

a fren of mine who is sulking at me a couple of months ago ... sms me today. he knows i'm in despair ... and guess how he knows it?? ... he says he dreamt about me 3 days in a row ... the same dream (he doesn't elaborate further) ... the same person ... and that i'm hurting ... i'm crying for help hence he ask what happen ... i dun know where to start ... i dun know what he expects to hear ... so there i go pouring my tots out ... not sure if it's link ... not sure if there's any link at all from his dreams to my woes ... but he sure is serious ... guess the dreams really disturb him ... what does all means? ... i've no slightest idea ... dun know what to expect ... dun know what to tink ... but i'm sure it's a message successfully sent ... another of god's will ...

yeah ... i teared ... just when i tot i will not ... just when i tot i'm strong enough to face any challenges ...but i'm wrong ... i dunno know what triggers ... i dunno where i fault ... it just happen ... he just blew ... is it something i said? ... is it something i do? ... i dunno ... am i so desperate to be loved? ... am i so desperate to be with him? ... i was telling myself ... never hav i love someone so deep as much as i love him ... but i ask myself ... does he? ... yes i believe he does ... but?? ... i never teared for someone as much as i teared for him ... fear of losing him ... fear of him shutting me off ... fear that he won't want to see me ... fear that he won't talk to me ... fear that he won't love me ... fear that he won't care ... fear ... fear ... fear ... and that becos of that fear ... i teared ... i can't bear to be alone ... wat is career? wat is cert? can they talk to you? ... can they console you? ... can they give you hugs when y...

something is just not right ... but i don't know what? Did i say something that i should not be saying? or did i do something that i should not do? arghhh ... help me!!! before i go bonkers! before i go nuts! it is me? nak tanya nanti kena herdik for no reason ... ask one qns ... reply one answer ... amacam ni??!!! arghhhhhhh!!!! ( head banging on the wall )

something is amiss ... or is it just me being paranoid ... wish i'm wrong ... but i just dun feel good ... wish i've the strength to wade off the negative tots ... so help me god!

me?? ... i'm a "cuddle and a kiss on the forehead" - i am someone who likes to be close to my special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed Try it out ... What Sign of Affection Are You?

first they are my best buddies since secondary school ... one after another got hitch ... now they are happily married with their bundled of joy(s) ... then a good fren whom i knew, we used to work together ... she saw the worst of me when i go thru' that bad 'crash' ... she got married soon enough ... and happily married with her bundled of joy too ... now ... another buddy i've 'slogged' and 'stress' thru for the past 5 years ... joining the 'ship' ... is that jealousy u hear from me? nope!! definitely not ... they are just 'voices' of envy ... one after another ... found true love ... or at least someone who loves them wholeheartedly to grow old with them ... me? am i left at the shelf? hopefully not ... on a positive note ... i'm glad i met him ... am glad that i'm still with him ... where does that lead us?? too early to say?? or a taboo to say?? whatever it is ... i'm glad i do have him to fall back on ... when my girlfr...

done with 2 more books of Barbara Delinsky ... 'A Woman Betrayed" and 'Rekindled' ... A fulfilling treat to the mind, imagination and heart ... Here's to my favourite author online home ... http://barbaradelinsky.com/

of course i love him ... and i'm pretty sure he loves me too ... though i've not heard him say it ... but i guess i just knew ... but it's important isn't it to be accepted by his mum ... his family ... it's necessary ... so when the MIL has 2 to choose ... what happen next?

ya who couldn't forget that first love??  ... some says their first love is puppy love ... but puppy love is still love isn't it?? ... some even has stronger attachment to their puppy loves ... saw that full circle show the other day where the Romeo married 52 times and still end up with his first love ... see how strong first love is ... just ponder ... if he did not have any kid from the first love ... would he met his first love again? not if it's by chance ... but he's meet up was arranged ... and so they re-unite ... i guess when you were no longer in close contact with your first love ... it's easier to move on ... u don't hurt your present love ... but if you are still in contact ... and coincidently both parties are not married ... there's bound to be feelings re-ignite ... memories re-dugged ... moments re-shared ... who gets hurt?? of course the present love ... to the present lovers out there ... ( and that includes me ... ) brace yourself ... tr...