JusMoi ... My lif3sT0ry ...

guess no matter how much u hate them ... u still love them even more ... guess whatever it is that they want from u ... are just the best from u ... guess when they say parents reprimand u ... it's for the best of u too? ... sometimes u wish ur parents just know u ... but i guess no one knows u better than urself ... sometimes u urself dun know urself ... then what? ... u want to live life alone? ... dun tink it's possible ... u want to be away from everybody? ... maybe it works ... but for how long? ... running away is not a solution ... just a workaround ... parents?? ... i'm grateful i still have mine ... and i'm grateful to them for my existance ... i can't thank them enough ... nothing can ... nothing will ... what they did to me ... or they dun ... is something that i can't penned down ... can't list out ... nothing i've done so far has made them proud ... and hopefully nothing i've done to disgrace them ... i'm not the perfect daughter ...

had a talk w/ the HR lady ... it was a good 15mins or so talk ... she wants me to consider ... give myself time ... maybe the change this year would be a better year for me ... will it? but one thing for sure ... it will not get any worst with me or without me ... guess my mind is made up ... if all these years nothing has change ... why now? will it? I doubt so ... if i dun perform as they expect ... will i ever be tomorrow ... i doubt it ... if i'm not applying my knowledge that i gain all these years ... what makes them sure i'll do so now ... makes no diff no matter what the circumstances are ... talk is just talk ... the one thing i told her ... whatever it is ... i leave with a successor to take over ... and not leaving them empty handed ... Da ... it's time!! ... shine like a star just as you had shone all these years ... i'm sure you will make the department a success ... the baton is yours ... the ending?? ... http://jusmoi.blogspot.sg/2006/02/staying

moi charming cousin maes2ro ... ================================ He wrote this: Timecheck: 2236hrs Melody: Diamond Sea - Sonic Youth A twentyfour of delight, madness and downfall Sunrise to sunset seemed to cover it all A day that started off with the joy of white It ended in black as dark as the night... A brother, a cousin, got a diamond ring To the lass he loves he wants for a queen Trays of thirteen and the grand of eight A future they'll hold as eternal soulmates... Folks who came got me to the edge Ponders for my turn to light up the stage A smile I carved to a hope I shall say That seven is mine forever, I'll pray... Compadres I love got up with a scheme To kidnap the boy born before thirteen A delight it was for him, twentyseven My love to you all for your hearts and campanion... A darling of mine got into a scuffle A heartbreak she gained caused her mind to shuffle My presence I hope got to ease off that load Whenever you're sinking I

her gift ... a ring and a bracelet 14 Jan 2006 - a day to mark the day my bro becomes someone's fiance ... congrats!

bro's engagement went smoothly ... me apalagi ... the cam-woman ah ... video and digi cam in one hand ... family and bro's frens came by to gather together ... witnessing his joyous occasion ... me ... juli gave me a persalinan ... a selindang, a lace cloth grey w/ pink flowers and plain grey for the kain ... sweet colors ... just wat i like ... *actually tak yah lah nak kasi kan ... but dah kasi ... terima aje lah ... thanks Juli!! Congrats bro ... u are now someone's fiance ... soon enough will be someone's husband ... soon enough someone's dad ... till then ... brace the world!!! to the both of you ... may happiness be with you always ...

not again i hope ... somewhere last year ... early last year ... when people read my blog ... i heard comments behind me that says i'm going thru' depression ... am i? seriously i've no idea ... till i look out the meaning ... it simply means ... "A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death." Oh ya ... "...helplessness ... hopelessness ... thoughts of death ..." that's wat it is ... so they are right are ... guess it's here again ... dear ... the only reason i'm breathing today is becos of you ... ya ... just you ... the moment u tell me u dun need me ... i guess it's goodbye!! that's the best i could tink of at tis moment ... that's the only way out ...   

she has receive it ... she accepted it ... I ASSUME ... cos she didn't say reject ... nor did she say approve .. she's dissappointed alrite ... cos i didn't submit it to her personally ... wat can i say i dun have the guts to ... cos i just dun fancy being confronted ... guess at the end of the day ... wat's the point of discussion ... anyway she expected it ... she sees it coming ... cos i've pre-warn kind of 'pre-warn' her ... so i guess life goes on ... i just hope my rezki is much better tis year ... i really really hope and pray ... can't afford not to go without ... i'm gonna be dead ... guess it's just counting the days je ... Go see ... http://jusmoi.blogspot.sg/2006/01/tot-it-stops-but-it-didn.html  to read on what happen next ...

yup ... done it!! but got my fren to do it ... not cos i dun have the guts to ... but i'm just not around to do it ... but bottomline ... i did it ... wait and see the outcome on Monday ... hehehehe ... Check out my story then ... Go see ... http://jusmoi.blogspot.sg/2006/01/the-saga-continues.html  to read the continuation ...

My parents at turkey from 16 to 24 dec 2005

hey ... not tiger time hah ... but really ... is this time for real?? i guess it is ... still till now i ask myself ... should i or should i not? but then biler lagi eh ... sigh!!! Go see ... http://jusmoi.blogspot.sg/2006/01/i-did-it.html  .. the story continues ...

why eh?? why would people do such ... why would one lie?? dapat present ke if you lie?? tak faham!!!! ...